This is what happened last week when I found this Sweet Valley High tape at my local Goodwill. I knew it was going to be God Awful, yet I was uncontrollably drawn to it. I never watched this show, though it seemed familiar, probably because it's just like the hundreds of other shows just like it from this time period. I remembered reading one of the books when I was in 6th grade. Not sure which one, but I always thought the covers were cute.
I always wondered if the art was done by the same person who did V.C. Andrews covers. I don't remember anything about which ever SVH book I read, so it must not have been very good. But still there's something about it that reminds me of my youth and I'm a sucker for nostalgia. So I made the leap.
My first thought when watching this abomination was that it seemed like a rip-off of the Clueless series, which I happen to love! But not enough to love shows that ripped it off, or were just apart of that general late 90's trendy teen era. The 90's were a peculiar decade for fashion, then again I guess they all were. The two obnoxious bratty twin sisters who are obviously more like 27 than 16 and they're group of retarded looking friends do boring tv show teen things rather than normal teen things, like...nothing. Eating and sleeping. I always thought it was funny how there are no adults on shows like this. Just "teens" who do what they want whenever they want. Even at school all you ever see are "teens" chatting it up by the lockers. I never even used my locker in High School. I could never remember the combination and even during the brief time that I did someone managed to rip my Johnny Rotten poster through the holes of the locker. I was one angry 15 year old (go figure).
So the more annoying of the two sisters develops a crush on a B-Boy (B for Bad and Boy does he look tough). She freakishly subscribes to bike magazines to impress him and stalks him at his work. He realizes she's probably an easy lay so they start going out. Her sister and their group of cronies go into a state of panic fearing for her life when they realize that he's been in detention or something... OK, so he went to reform school. Big farkin deal. Are these teenagers or fundamentalist Christians straight out of Squaresville? As it turns out he's really a good guy, they learn to love him, they go to prom or spring dance or one of those dozens of dances they have in shows like this, she has a ridiculous curly up-do that makes her bangs look like a moustache, and he gets some great motorcycle job and leaves. Boo hoo.
What the fuck, man?! I feel totally ripped off! I know I said that I knew it would suck, but COME ON. It wasn't funny, it wasn't cute, the music sucked, the clothes sucks, there was no drama, no suspense. Total popcorn. It made me wish I was watching California Dreams.
This blog sucks, I almost regret writing it. Almost.
I remember reading Sweet Valley High. I had quite a few books I picked up from a yard sale, way way back in the day when I was still living in South Florida. I read them thinking the same thing. Is this all? This kinda sucks! Its interesting you brought it up because now that you're refreshing the material, what it really is are the stories of yuppie kids written from the point of view of someone who overhears drama around school or work or something. And from that perspective, it can actually be thought of as kind of realistic, if the world you're living in involves these sort of people, and there are lots of people, living in very big groups, like this in the world, especially in California!
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